Wave Bound Miracles

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." Matthew 14:25-33

Yesterday I was at my wits end.  If felt as if a storm had enveloped me and would not let go.  Like Peter, I had looked at my current circumstances and began to sink.  Desperately I cried out for the Lord to help me as I joked about how I was loosing it.  It was then that the Lord, like in Matthew 14, immediately reached down and pulled me from my predicament.  Through the kind acts of others, God met me right where I was and not only met my need but also gave me a blessing.  It was then that I realized, much like the disciples in the boat, that we serve a God that helps us even when our faith is faltering. 

I find it amazing in this scripture that Jesus walked out to them.  Most of the time we are told to go to the Lord with our needs.  In this scripture, it was impossible for Peter to get to Jesus.  The waters had surrounded him and as far as he was concerned this was not the most ideal situation to be in.  It was then that Jesus, the God of the universe, immediately went and caught Peter. "Immediately", I've always liked that word here. Peter did not have to pray for years or even minutes but immediately Jesus caught him.  How awesome is it to know that when the world is closing in around us, God will immediately run to our aid.

Thank You Lord for meeting me where I am, for I could never get to where you are alone.

Does it Ever End?

Today I feel as though I am being repeatedly kicked in the stomach.  Just when I think things cannot get any worse, guess what, they do.  I feel like I am loosing it a little as anger and insanity creep into my mind.  My mind sounds much like the ramblings of the apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 11:21-28:

What anyone else dares to boast about—I am speaking as a fool—I also dare to boast about. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they Abraham's descendants? So am I. Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. 

On the one hand I understand that those that have been called of God to do great things must, and I do mean must, go through the fire a few times but on the other hand I'm saying "Oh, come on!"  Now I know that may sound childish but I am sure there are others out there that have felt the same way.  It's the feeling, like in all the good hero movies, where the hero spends half the movie fighting an evil force only to find out that when it is gone, it was only a minion of a greater evil.  Its the feeling of many gamers that fight and fight for hour after hour, they get to the final chamber, beat the boss, start to cheer, and are killed when the boss reappears somehow.  Are you with me?

The only comfort I have through all this is that if I am tried and tested this much then there must be great things about to happen.  So, if you are in the same predicament remember these words, "Satan only pays attention to threats."  If you want revenge, go and take it by doing something great for God.

Parents that Drugged Us

As a small treat and lighthearted fun I wanted to pass this onto you, a new blog post is currently in work so stay tuned.  For all those that are wondering, the picture is of my parents.  You know the ones that drugged me.  Love you Mom and Dad.

Found this on the internet and thought you would like it.

The other day, a friend of mine read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question.
 "Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?"
 I replied I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.
 I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was  also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.
 I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.
 I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flowerbeds and cocklebur's out of dad's fields.
 I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul, who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
 Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

God bless the parents who drugged us.

Unforgivable

Who is a God like you,who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.  Micah 7:18-19

Where do we go wrong?  We have a loving God who promises us that he will forgive our sins and forget them, but why can't we do the same?  There are so many times that I have asked for the forgiveness of a sin but then it has taken years to forgive myself for it.  You spend all of your time beating yourself up for it.  Or you are asking yourself how you could fall so far.   When I was in that place I was miserable, I had escaped into a shell and told God that he couldn't use me because I was too weak.  Just like Elijah in 1 Kings, I escaped into a cave and didn't want to come out.

So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night.    
And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."     

 1 Kings 19:8-10

I was there until God asked me what I was doing there.  I told him that I was ashamed and felt that I was too weak to do his work.  It was at that time that God revealed something to me.  We need to forgive ourselves for the sins that we commit.  If we don't it becomes a foothold.  Guilt quickly moves in and begins to control our lives. My life had gone from an on-fire, go for the goal Christianity, to a man hiding in the backs of churches hurt from what life had thrown him.

I would like to tell you that I forgave myself and overnight I was transformed with joy in my heart and dancing bound up in my feet but this wasn't the case.  Like being bound with many ropes and chains, my unforgiveness took time and a lot of soul searching to unwind.  With God's help, I discarded past guilt, old sins, and pains piece by piece until only the core of my guilt remained.  After forgiving myself for the wrong that God had already pardoned, joy reentered my life and my step once again became lighter.

Soon after God began to use me and open doors to minister to others.  One of these ministries you are currently reading.  So I pass onto you what God imparted to me, if you ask God for forgiveness for a sin remember to also forgive yourself.  Only then can the sin be cast into the sea of forgetfulness. 

Wounded Warriors

It is said that the most dangerous animal is a wounded one; it has nothing to lose and everything to gain.

A lot of us have been hurt, cut, bruised, broken, etc. but have all survived. Some scars still remain others have faded into the past but all have changed us. More and more of our childish innocence disappears with every pain but we learn and we adapt. Some have fallen into their pain and use it as blanket that hides all of their actions. Others channel their pain into different pursuits, some good and some not. Then there are the rest of us, we feel the pain, we see the scars, but we live on.

In Ephesians 6:10-17, Paul talks about putting on the armor of God to protect ourselves from the evil one. Is your armor dented? Is it scratched, dented, or cracked from years and years of assaults, pains, and trials. As I look at my armor, I can see the dents of past afflictions and remember the pain but no longer feel it. Cracks have been repaired and filled with the grace and peace that only God can provide. The gleam of newness has faded but the luster of God's love still makes it shine. My armor is like me, far from perfect but still made strong through God's power and might.

Are you a wounded soldier, repeatedly hurt but never killed? Do you need God to fix your armor? To fill the cracks, smooth out the dents and wipe away the scratches? Ask him, he will answer.

If you answer that call soon like a wounded animal, we will know we have nothing to lose; our salvation can never be taken away, but everything to gain. Then we all will be able to stand against the wave of evil stretching around the world. To answer God's calling to stand as Warriors in this dark world.

"After you have done everything, STAND." Ephesians 6:13

Walking in a Straight Line

As a kid, one of my jobs was mowing the lawn. When I started, I would weave back and forth making the lines in the lawn look more like waves than the traditional straight pattern that my dad preferred. The next time I went to mow the lawn my dad walked out with me and told me not to look directly in front of the mower. He told me that I should instead look at what would be the end of the pass. In our yard that was about 50 yards away and I thought there would be no way this would work. I thought that I would end up missing parts of the lawn and again mowed the lawn looking at the front tires. Of course, the lines were once again crooked. A week later my dad walked out with me one more time and told me to look at him the whole time. When I voiced my concern, he reassured me that he would tell me if I missed any grass. Reluctantly I took his advice and looked at him the whole way. At the end of the pass he would walk to the other side and again I would walk towards him. This went on until the front yard was done. After turning off the mower, my dad took me out on the lawn and showed me the perfectly straight lines that I had made. I was amazed at how looking far in front of me yielded a perfectly straight path.

In Psalm 16:8, David says: "I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." It is amazing how the same lesson my father taught me to mow a perfect lawn is the very same lesson God teaches us to follow Him. God asks that we should keep our eyes on Him and we will not be shaken. Just like looking at the front wheel of the mower, when we obsess about our current circumstances our path becomes crooked and our trip to God is longer. When we keep our eyes on our heavenly father, just like looking at my dad, we are able to stay on the straight and narrow path to God.

Dancing in Fire

Well...here I am once again banging my head against the wall and praying to make it just one more day without my head exploding. Yes, I had succumb to a form of depression where you know that there is nothing more you can do but allow the world to unfold around you as it will. While living in this virtual land of self pity I came to an epiphany (to all the jokesters that are reading this: No it didn't hurt). In the Word of God, I found a scripture in the book of Romans that I have read many, many, times but never quite read.

There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! Romans 5:3-5 MSG

"We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in (surrounded) with troubles" I don't know about you but this is exactly how I felt this morning, completely and utterly surrounded with no way out. Even still, through my tears this morning I shouted, "Give up Satan, I will never stop doing God's work." Even though that line may never be in a praise and worship song, I believe to God's ears that is sweeter than sugar. Believe it or not, once I said this I felt better. It was then I remembered what God had told me so many months ago, "Prepare for Greatness," according to this verse this is how we prepare. Troubles are what create our character more like God's. These are the times that forge us into the person that will one day carry God's greatness to the world.

I love how the verse goes on to say that through these troubles we will develop into the man or woman that God wants us to be. Like always God then ends it with a promise, we will eventually see all the things that God has poured into our lives. I know as I look back at some of the hardest times in my life, I see the incredible blessings I was allowed to be a part of. Whether it was at Basic Training where I was able to speak to over 60 men for 7 weeks about God and Jesus by praying for them every night. Or coming to Alaska and finding the job I was offered was gone and being able to come to Fairbanks to lead a young adult ministry. No matter where life takes us, if we praise God through our troubles, it will be alright because God will direct our path and will make sure His will is done.

Okay, so why the old man sticking out his tongue. Answer, because that's what I feel like doing to those that are causing my current predicament. I know that the troubles are good for me but I don't have to like them.

Carrying Darkness

It's said that when a soldier has seen death they carry a piece of that death with them for the rest of their lives. Some no longer fear it, others become jaded to the death of others, and still others push the limits of their own lives because they know that our lives are precious. Having this in mind I started to wonder if someone sees the darkness and evil in this world if they carry a little of that darkness with them.

Why ask this question? As I walk through this world I have met, in recent years, those that serve the Lord above but are not all rainbows and roses about it. What I mean to say is that a majority of Christians see the world through brighter glasses. The world is a place that God made and the sun is brighter, the sky is bluer, and the grass is greener because God is with them. I have zero problems with these people and in fact wish I could be one of them. But unfortunately I am one of the few that see the hurt in the world, the destitution, and the evil. Am I jaded or is this a gift from our Holy Savior? If you are like me then I want to tell you that it is not wrong to see the evil in the world. Jesus saw the evil in the world, read the account below from Mark 5.

They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes. When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an evil spirit came from the tombs to meet him. This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him any more, not even with a chain. For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.

When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him. He shouted at the top of his voice, "What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? Swear to God that you won't torture me!" For Jesus had said to him, "Come out of this man, you evil spirit!"

Then Jesus asked him, "What is your name?"

"My name is Legion," he replied, "for we are many." And he begged Jesus again and again not to send them out of the area.

A large herd of pigs was feeding on the nearby hillside. The demons begged Jesus, "Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them." He gave them permission, and the evil spirits came out and went into the pigs. The herd, about two thousand in number, rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.

Those tending the pigs ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, and the people went out to see what had happened. When they came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. Those who had seen it told the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man—and told about the pigs as well. Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region.

Seeing the evil in the world makes you alert. Like the soldiers that have seen death. You know the value of good, you know the value of God! You know that God is the only true thing in this world and you hold on to Him with all you've got. To all of those out there that sit with you're Christian friends and feel completely out of place, know that there are more of us out here. Keep fighting the good fight and keep the faith. May God bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you and be gracious to you, May His face turn toward you and give you peace.

Walking Through the Pain

A few years back I injured myself while serving in the military. Though I had round after round of physical therapy the pain never truly went away. To this day the pain is still there in the same place it has always been. This being the case I have on occasion pushed the pain out of my mind so I could do what needed to be done. Now this doesn't mean that I wasn't in pain but that for the present moment I was numb to the pain due to my circumstances.

As a man running after God, sometimes I have to do the same thing in my Spiritual walk. Though someone may have hurt me or I may not "feel" like ministering, I have to push those feelings out of my mind so that I can do the work that God has for me. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12 that "there was given me a thorn in my flesh" he goes on to say "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

In short, God's strength is made perfect in our lives when we are walking through the pain.

A Visit from Mick

Today as I was trying to come to terms with everything that is going on around me I received a phone call from an awesome friend. During the call, he told me how I was on his mind and that he was praying for my family and I. After the call, I sat in shock at how someone more than a thousand miles away was praying for me and inspiring whole churches to pray for us as well. I was on the virtual ropes of life and here was someone cheering me back into the battle. As the night wore on I remembered Mick from the Rocky movies and how he would yell and scream at Rocky to keep him in the fight.

If you haven't seen the Rocky movies and have no idea who I am talking about, pay the 99 cents and rent the movies from the old movie racks. They are well worth it.

Mick was a retired boxer that trained Rocky and acted as his coach during his rise to greatness. What made him such a great character is that he did not give Rocky any slack but instead would push Rocky past his pain and to ultimate victory. As I laid in bed, ready to go to sleep, I remembered one of my favorite quotes from the Rocky movies, "it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" Paul told Timothy in one of his last letters, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Tim. 4:7). That is the legacy I want to leave. Sometimes we hit the ropes after a devastating blow and God uses these special people to push us past our circumstances to our ultimate breakthrough. In Ephesians, we are told that when we can do nothing else, stand. In a fight sometimes we just need to keep standing to win the battle. (Watch the final bout in Rocky 2)

To that special individual that acted as my Mick, thank you, you are an amazing blessing and mentor.

Help me Daddy

Quiet, finally quiet. The days events pulled at my heart and the tension wound up my shoulders into virtually rocks of muscle. The steady steam of hot water pounded against my neck and drowned out all noise in my head. For the first time I found a shred of peace that allowed me to reflect on the days events. Where am I going to find the money to pay our bills, I thought. Where Lord, where? All my plans have failed, where would the money come from. I thought of how I should be quiet and wait upon the Lord. The only problem, I thought, is that I had been quiet and waited on the Lord but the bill is still due tomorrow and there are no prospects that are in sight. I pounded my fist against the side of the shower and continued to struggle in silence. From my mouth I finally muttered, Daddy, oh Daddy, please help me, please help me. Tears mixed with the water that cascaded down my face and I pleaded with my Father. Like a small child pleads for attention I went to the throne of God and reached upward.

Why share this with you? I'm sure many of you have been in this place. Totally vulnerable, totally in need, and "feeling" totally forgotten by God. I know personally, this is a place that I frequent. When I am in this place I am given a choice of two actions.

1. I can feel sorry for myself and climb into seclusion.
2. I can remember Romans 8:15 and cry out to God.

I choose the latter. Romans 8:15 states, "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'" By this simple verse I know two things that I want to pass on to you.

1. God does not want me to be a slave to fear (aka worry, apprehension, stress, etc)
2. I am considered a son of God and by that I can cry out Abba (or Daddy).

When I think of calling God, Daddy, images of when I was a child come to mind. Those nights when I would have a nightmare and scream out Daddy. Minutes later my father would come into my room and comfort me. Now as a father I sit on the other side of the looking glass. When my daughter screams out Daddy in the night I am immediately stirred from my sleep and run through the house to get to her. When I arrive at her bedside she reached for me and buries herself in my arms. As she weeps in my arms I calm her with gentle words of assurance that I am there and will protect her. In this way I believe through my tears God runs to us and wraps His arms around us. Through His Word he comforts us and shows us how He will take care of us. In short, our Daddy loves us and will always be there for us.